Can't sleep! Maybe it's the nerves from board-studying or the decaf coffee that I drank at 2 p.m. (I'm pretty weak in the caffeine tolerance department, right?) In either case, this makes for a perfect time to blog.
Since I graduated from college, which seems like yesterday, my life has changed so much. Yes, I got married, but right now I want to talk about medical school. Ugh, medical school again? Yup...only because it is the primary source of bondage at this point in my life. Bondage because I am stuck at a desk for many hours a day just studying. Studying for something that I know I cannot defeat with my own strength. I feel like David with a puny slingshot (my brain) against the gargantuan beast (Step 1).
You know that Bible verse that says you have to die to yourself? I feel like I'm doing that...literally. I feel like a droid with no personality. Can't you tell? My blog posts have been absolutely insipid! Lukewarm! Spit out of your mouth bad! I lost a blog follower recently and I don't blame her. Who would want to follow a lame blog?
Regardless, I know that this is a season in my life that I just have to suck it up and plow through the difficult times. And if I couldn't receive a message loudly or clearly enough, I recently read this passage:
"14Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe..." Philippians 2: 14-15
WOW. Sometimes there are some passages that God speaks to you in a DIRECT, no doubt about it, slap in the face way. I admit it Jesus! I'm a whiner! I won't complain anymore so I can be a star in the universe! I might be facetious about the star part, but one thing was true--I needed to stop complaining, suck it up like a big girl, and just DO IT. And that's what I'm trying to do. Despite the fact that I was whining at the beginning of the post, I really have surrendered this beast to God. It's just so beyond me and my own intelligence and strength that I cannot help but ask God to work his miracles. If God can raise people from the dead, he can add a little whizzam into my studying and (cross my fingers) into the boards so that it caters to my narrow pool of knowledge. An exam with no biochemistry, no neuro, no endocrine, and NO anatomy. It can happen guys!
And I promise I will regain my personality after 9/17. But it might take a while to recuperate from medical-student-droid-syndrome.
That's a great verse...I will definitely make note of it and take it to work. Hope the studying is going well! Sorry we haven't talked in so long but I left my computer charger at Terry's parents house this summer and am using Terry's now until mine returns to me next week. So I'm just now catching up on all my favorite sites! :)
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