Snow White

I am pale.  After a long fall/winter/spring indoors, I look down at my feet and I can't see where my white sandal border begins and ends because it is the same shade as my legs.  That probably made NO sense, but I have been blessed/cursed with the porcelain skin tone in a country that glorifies tan bronze skin.  Don't get me wrong, I don't have an issue with my paleness during any other time of the year, but when summer rolls around and I step outside in shorts or a T-shirt, people are blinded by a second sun, my ghastly skin that reflects the sun's piercing rays.  That was a bit dramatico, but it's true!

And as you know, Burton has NOT my skin tone.  In Greece, I slathered spf 60 on him, placed him under a large beach umbrella while I used spf 15 and stayed under the hot Aegean sun.  And at the end of the day, he was a chocolate brownie and I was condensed milk...can't even reach caramel status.  What the poop! 

I commented the other day that he could have ended up with a white girl (I know Caucasian is the politically correct term but this story won't work if I say Caucasian) b/c he has a history of white girls having crushes on him. And he responds, "You're not white, I'd call you more of an ivory."

Speechless I was.

That only propelled me further to take action!  This Saturday I'm going to a wedding in Jersey and I'm wearing a yellow dress.  The only problem is white skin looks terrible in yellow.  So I need a tan and one fast!  I'm not a fan of artificial UV exposure so I researched the "fake bake."  L'Oreal had a coupon in the paper for a discount on their Sublime bronzing line, so I picked one up.

I look like Tinkerbell pooped her fairy dust all over me, but the tan really was instantaneous!  It freaked Burton out because I turned a shade darker immediately and he wants to know if it's a carcinogen.  I don't care as long as I don't look like an oompa loompa, but then again even the oomps have some kind of color. 

Anyone try self-tanner before?